My journey through chemotherapy: pain, perseverance and hope

Many troubles befall the righteous, but the Lord delivers him from them all.
Psalm 34:20

Introduction to the most challenging stage

I think the time has finally come to write more about the chemotherapy period. It began about two months after the first operation, in June 2018. The beginning seemed fine. Then I changed my mind.

Pain that ran through his entire body

Waves of excruciating pain coursed through my body, especially my hands and fingers, as the chemotherapy burned my nerve endings. Whenever I touched anything metal, the pain tore through my entire body. The refrigerator became inaccessible, so at least I wasn't in danger of gaining weight because I would start eating too much due to stress. 😉

Skin, cold and the struggle for comfort

My skin, especially on my face and neck, was always very dry and relatively swollen. My partner made me cucumber compresses to relieve the symptoms. I also used steroid ointments. I was constantly cold. That's why, despite the beautiful sunny weather, we had the radiators on and the temperature in the house was 25 °C.

When eating is no longer possible

Whatever I tried to eat, I threw up. A friend decided to help us and sent us a juicer. This was because she and my partner came to the conclusion that this was the only way my body would accept any food.

Me — a meat eater — and juices. Madness.

I, a man who lived on meat, sauces, potatoes, kebabs and coffee, was supposed to drink juice. Pure madness!!! I rebelled, got angry, shouted at my girlfriend, who, surprisingly, was dripping with patience at the time and still stubborn in this regard, i.e. me drinking juice.

First steps with juices and first results

I slowly started drinking fruit juices. Vegetable juices were worse. I didn't like them at all and started my career with them with a quarter of a cup. However, the truth is that these juices most likely saved my life at the time, helping me survive that awful time of chemotherapy. My results improved. I only lost a little hair and had the strength to go on trips around the UK, which I mentioned earlier.

A cycle of chemistry and days taken from life

After each session at the hospital, when I received an intravenous infusion, I had a few days that were like being taken out of my life. In between, I took chemotherapy tablets for a week. Then, for two weeks, I felt better. Whenever the weather permitted, we would go outside for a short walk or take a trip to give ourselves a moment of respite and enjoy the beauty of nature around us.

The sun — an enemy during chemotherapy

Unfortunately, I had to be very careful about the sun. Due to the chemicals in my body, I couldn't expose my skin to sunlight. In the early days, we only went out for walks in the afternoon when the sun was lower, and even then I took my partner's light-coloured umbrella with me, as you can see in one of the photos. It looked a bit comical, but it did the job, and that was the most important thing for me at the time. It was only later that I bought myself a hat, which will probably also appear in many photos. In the meantime, I also used my partner's hat. 🙂

Moments of respite that saved my sanity

Each of us needed these moments to not give up, to recharge our batteries. For me, these were important moments for other reasons as well. It was still unclear how chemotherapy would deal with my malignant cancer. So I needed an environment that would calm me down and allow me to look forward to the difficult days ahead with new hope.

The sea, gardens and hope

That environment was the sea, where the sound of the waves calmed me, and gardens, where the beauty of the plants gave me hope for a better tomorrow. Despite very difficult moments, I kept getting back up and did not allow myself to fall, doubt or give in to the illness.

A message for those who struggle

This is what I wish for everyone who falls ill – not to give up, no matter how difficult the situation may seem. Keep your chin up. As I wrote in the title: chemotherapy time – stubbornly strive for life. Never give up. Best regards. 🙂

Below is a gallery of photographs related to the onset of my illness and that difficult period of my life.
Some of the photographs may be disturbing or unpleasant for sensitive viewers,
so please view them with caution and at your own pace.