Life after bowel cancer: a true story of struggle and faith

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones.
Proverbs 3:5–8

The beginning of the story

A year after surgery to remove colon cancer, a year with a colostomy and seven months of chemotherapy, it was finally time for bowel reconstruction. I was already excited. Finally, everything was going to change for the better. I would be back to normal, without any problems caused by the stoma bag, which I had to deal with almost every day. At least that's what I thought. I was naive to think that everything would go smoothly. Now I see it. Unpleasant surprises are a frequent visitor in our lives.

Sepsis and a second operation

The preparations for the fusion went smoothly. The operation was successful. Everything went without a hitch. On the second day after the operation, I was already eating fruit. This was also a test to see if food was passing through my digestive tract properly. Everything seemed fine, but on the third day I started to slur my words. My wife pointed out to the nurses that something was wrong with me. It turned out that my body had been attacked by sepsis. I underwent another operation. The doctors, wanting to save the work they had done three days earlier, decided to disconnect the large intestine, remove the small intestine and create a temporary double-barrelled ileostomy.

Fight for life

I was unaware of all this. Inside me, a battle for life was raging. My brain shut down almost everything in an attempt to fight sepsis. I also fought, deep inside my consciousness. I felt myself on the brink of life and death three times. Three times I asked God for help, because I simply wanted to live. Unfortunately, another, fourth crisis came. I no longer had the strength to fight. I turned my thoughts to God. Perhaps because I was raised in the Catholic faith, or perhaps because of my own choice – I still don't know – I gave my body to God in my thoughts, saying, "I give you my body. Do with it what you will, and I offer my suffering for the sins of mankind."

Borderline experience

I felt as if I had found myself inside an undefined space. It was dark there. I could not hear any sound. I could not feel the passage of time. The only thing I could feel was my changing body. I felt as if my body was shrinking into a tiny cell and then growing into a large, undefined shape. All this was happening as if to the rhythm of a heartbeat. I have no idea how long this state lasted. I only know that after a while I heard a powerful Voice saying two words: "So live". I believe it was the voice of God, because I woke up and began to recover. This is my encounter with God. I do not know why I was given the gift of continued life, but I am still deeply grateful to God for this gift.

Back to life and another blow

After twenty-one days, I left the hospital with a new addition, an ileostomy. It was supposed to be temporary, to be removed after another six months. I was supposed to make a full recovery. However, God decided otherwise. The world went crazy over the new coronavirus. The Covid period, which lasted over two years, began. All operations were suspended. Only critical cases were dealt with. In the meantime, my wife and I decided that we wanted to visit our families in Poland. The only legal way to do this was to get two doses of the vaccine. We both took them. We booked our tickets. A few days before departure, our son visited us. We played a game, laughed and had a glass of wine. When I got up from the table, I felt dizzy, even though I hadn't drunk much. I didn't worry too much about it, blaming it on my constitution. The next day, I got up and found that I was still leaning to one side and my arm wasn't responding. I called the emergency number. An ambulance was sent for me. It turned out that I had had a stroke. Fortunately, this time I only spent a dozen or so hours in hospital, after which I was discharged home. This situation was a turning point.

Breakdown and helplessness

I broke down. I had had enough unpleasant surprises from life, from God, or wherever they came from. It turned out that I couldn't drive a car. I couldn't do rehabilitation because even the slightest effort caused me a lot of pain due to prolapse – a prolapsed intestine. We had to buy a wheelchair. I felt terrible about the fact that my wife had to push me, a grown man, in a wheelchair. My anger and resentment at this situation was and still is all the greater because my wife has problems with her wrists. Naturally, her hands are not very strong. The ban on driving was another factor that caused my mental state to deteriorate. I was basically trapped in my own home, dependent on my wife and unable to cope with many simple tasks. I felt like I was in prison.

Depression and hope

<p>Those were the first days of depression. This condition continues to this day. Nevertheless, I believe that one day I will feel much better. That is why I am sharing this story with you, dear reader. I believe, I strongly believe, that you too will be able to overcome all adversities. Remember that you are not the only one who is going through a difficult time in your life right now, whether it is due to illness or other factors. Remember that there are many who are worse off than you, yet they stubbornly push forward. Do not give up, just as I am not giving up. Good luck.

This is part of my journey — real, unembellished, sometimes painful.

WARNING:
The gallery contains images that may be too difficult for children and sensitive individuals.
Please consider this before viewing.

I am showing them because I believe that even in the darkest moments, you can find your way to the light.